LOCKED OUT

So, this Friday starts off as a typical Friday. I wpent the morning visiting yard sales with Gabe looking for a activity cube. Found a $5 little tikes basketball hoop. Then, momma and Gabe take a nap. Wake up, drop Gabe with John and John Jr. and head off to work. Tim gets off work, picks up baby, goes to buy an activity cube found off of craigslist, then head home. Only to find that the locks for the entire complex were changed today. We had notice of this, so we weren't surprised. Of course, this means that we didn't have access to our home without the automatic garage door opener ( or so we thought), which I had in my car, downtown at work. So, Tim and tired, hungry Gabe drive back downtown ( tim and I work across the street from each other) to pick up garage door opener. Right after he drove away, I realized I left my car keys in the back of his suv next to Gabe. I ran inside, frantically called him. Finally he answers, has to come back downtown to deliver my keys. Off once again to hopefully get home to feed, bathe and put the Roo to sleep. I called him about 20 minutes later...garage door opener DID NOT WORK! The locked was on which needed a key to unlock. So, once again...LOCKED OUT! Finally my husband called the maintenance guy and he had to drive over to open the front door. Now at 8:30 at night, they are finally inside. My poor boys, hungry, tired, hot and locked out of our home and I'm at work unable to provide any kind of help. AHHH! Anyway...it's all good now. Boys are home...a little worn out, but home safe and sound.

Loosing my waistline in record time

Since finding out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago today I have had insane pregnancy symptoms. I cannot not express in words the terribly, awful, no-good morning sickness/nausea I have had. I feel like I could barf 24 hours a day. Only eating helps curve the constant queaziness in my stomach. So, needless to say, I'm packing on the pounds because I eat about every 2 hours. Greasy food is really the best food to stop the nausea, which is terrible news because I'm heavy set to begin with. The memories of the days that I weight 125 are quickly fading. I feel like a whale. I have never weighed this much in my life. I was thisclose to joining weight watchers to loose the pounds from Gabe, marriage, etc...then my ass gets preggo. Don't get me wrong, you all know how much I wanted another baby. So, I view this as a blessing...mostly. I am just scared of how much I will gain and how the hell I am going to loose it all post-partum.

Ok, so besides the incredible nausea 24/7 and getting fatter...I am so excited to meet this new baby! I have another ultrasound on Monday. I will post pics, if I am able to receive any.

Hugs & Kisses.

Such sad news about a baby angel.

So, for the past 6 months or more I have been following the blog of a sweetie little preemie baby that was born 3 months premature. She was only 1lb 1 ounce when she was born. She has been fighting an incredible battle since she came into this world, and unfortunatly othis past Monday, she went home to Heaven. I think it is so incredibly sad that her beautiful little life as cut so drastically short. Any mother of a child can just imagine the agony of losing a child, yet somehow the parents of this little angel are trying to focus on the 10 months they had with her. They are not angry or bitter. They are simply viewing her life on earth as done and she went on to finish her work with God in Heaven. Anyway, please read her miraculous story and have a box of tissues nearby.

http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/

Back to reality

Hello people! I'm really sorry I haven't posted in over a week.
I've been INCREDIBLY busy.
Check it out
1. Moved into our new place
2. Unpacked in our new place
3. Got a job offer
4. Debated and finally accepted new job offer
5. Quit current job
6. OB Coordinator Appt. on Thursday, ultrasound, lab work
7. Mother's Birthday
8. Mother's Day

So, my vacation was really a staycation. The only positive side to my staycation was moving to our new place and spending lots, and lots, and lots of quality time with my boys. Unfortunatly, we never made it to Newport Aquarium or the zoo as originally planned. Although, we did go to the park one day! The stinky part to this is that I had to work 40 hrs a week for 11 months for this staycation and it's over in what seems like an instant.

Some news on the baby front. I went in for an ultrasound to check progression reasons for spotting etc. The ultrasound showed a yolk sac, a gestational sac, but no babino. So, looks like baby is just too small to show us himor herself. I have a re-scheduled ultrasound on May 18. I will let you know how things go then.

Was sent this via email. Kinda sweet before Mother's Day

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations. Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night. Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom. Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy. Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Emotions run high

Driving to work today, heard the song I Saw God Today by George Strait. Burst into a blubbery mess. It's amazing how having a new life growing inside of me really makes me emotionally unstable.
Anyway, the lyrics are really sweet.

I just walked down the street to the coffee shophad to take a break
I'd been by her side for eighteen hours straight
I saw a flower growing in the middle of the sidewalk
pushing up through the concrete
like it was planted right there for me to seethe flashin' lights, the honkin' horns
all seemed to fade awayin the shadow of that hospital at 5:08I saw God today
Chorus:I've been to churchI've read the book
I know He's here, but I don't looknear as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
I'd just slow down to stop and stare
opened my eyes and man
I swearI saw God todayI saw a couple walking by they were holding hands
Man, she had that glow
yeah I couldn't help but notice she was starting to show
I stood there for a minute takin' in the skylost in that sunset
a splash of amber melted in the shades of redChorus
I got my face pressed up against the nursery glass
She's sleeping like a rock
My name on her wrist wearing tiny pink socks
She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes
My brand new baby girlShe's a miracle I saw God today

Bananas make me want to barf...and other symptoms

I'm only 5 weeks pregnant, and the lovely early pregnancy symptoms have started.

Symptoms thus far:
Nausea in the early AM that wakes me from a deep slumber
The taste, smell and sight of fresh bananas make me want to yack
Boobs are slightly tender
Extreme Fatigue, really, I could fall asleep at any moment throughout the day
Tighter fitting pants
Very low sexual libido, very, very, very low (Of course, could be exhaustion from moving and being pregnant)
Extreme hunger...I mean, when I'm hungry I feel like I haven't eaten for days and days
Craving french onion soup like nobody's business...I've had it 3 times within the last week

Symptoms at this time with my first pregnancy:
Nausea
Fatigue
Spotting
Fresh fruit made me yack in the mornings

Don't get me wrong, I am so excited and happy about having another baby. So, bring on the pregnancy symptoms. I think I would be so much happier if I wasn't moving this weekend. I'm scared to do too much physically because I don't want to m/c since it is so early. I can't copp out of the move because I can't expect all the people helping us to move my crap without me pitching in. I think I can handle the light boxes, clothes, and organzing.

Is it an unwritten rule to keep the pregnancy on the DL before 12 weeks? If so, I have broken the rule over and over. All of my family, friends and facebook community, a few select co-workers, and my boss now know. I guess people keep hush-hush in case of the dreaded m/c. I figure if a m/c happens, I will need the support of my loved ones, which could be hard to ask for if they never even knew about the pregnancy.

In other news:
We got the keys to the new place on Tuesday! It is marvelous! The only negative to the new, amazing place is that it reaks of mothballs. So, we need to do some major airing out and deodorizing. If anyone has any suggestions on how to do that, I would be most appreciative.
We paint on Friday. Amazing!!! I will post pics next week on my vaca!!!!

Oh..and I finally have a follower. LOL. Thanks Holly!

A little news

So, a little news to inform you all about. I'm not really sure if anyone actually reads this blog, since I have no followers...lol But, as some people may have read previously, my husband and I were trying for another baby for several months. Each month ended with frustration and tears. Finally, I couldn't stand the hurt anymore. I told Tim that I was done trying. I was handing it over to God. I was going to focus on looking for a new job in case I was laid off my current one and packing up everything to move in the beginning of May. Long behold God had other plans. We are indeed pregnant! Three positive pregnancy tests confirm the news. If the "trustworthy" online pregnancy calender is accurate...the baby due date is January 1. More news to come. Please says your prayers for a happy, healthy pregnancy and baby!!!

The truth is...

While at work, I was scanning CNN.com as always. Came across this article about the truths behind motherhood. Mostly honest article about the upside and downside of being a mom. Most moms really don't discuss the downsides of mommyhood. I have the say the hardest battle I fight within myself is between being a working mom and a stay at home mom.

The hardest part of mommyhood I've encountered so far was when I had to leave Gabe to finish college back in January 2008. I knew I had a responsibility to myself to finish the education I had begun 6 years prior to having Gabe. All of the sacrifices I made to get the education could not be forgotten even if I became a mother. So, a few hours a day, several days a week I was a college student. Then I came home and was a mother. The roles were hard to balance. Especially when he was still waking up at night for feedings and I had an exam the next day. Finally, I succeeded and received my college degree, with Gabe watching from the crowd.
The next step was working. Even though Tim and I do not own extravagant things, we could not afford to live on one salary should I choose to stay at home. So, I was hired fulltime at the Poison Center. On the days I work 10-6 our routine plays like this (most of the time): Wake up by 7am, morning bottle and cuddling, dress Gabe, Shower, dress myself, breakfast ( if there is time), drive to Mindy's ( if we skipped breakfast, Mindy will feed Gabe), drive to work, work for 8 hours, drive home to see Gabe and Tim, eat dinner, playtime for about 30-45 minutes, bathtime, bed usually at 7:30. Total time with Gabe--3 hours
On my 3-11 days--Wake up at 7am, bottle and cuddletime, breakfast, playtime for 2 hours, naptime around 11, wake up at 12:30ish, lunch, dress Gabe, shower, drive to Mindy's, and off to work for 8 hrs, come home, spend about 30 min with Tim, off to bed.
So, basically during the week I'm at most a part time mom and a fulltime worker.
Gabe has done well with the hectic schedule. I have done horribly. Last week when Gabe turned out to have tonsillitis, I felt like I had literally failed as a mother. I couldn't tell when my own child was ill, and couldn't even take him to the doctor to be examined. What the hell was I good for then? A paycheck to pay for diapers, but no spare time to actually care for my own child?
Honestly, in my heart of hearts, I would love to stay home and raise my child. I would love to go to storytime at the library, join mommy and me playgroups, and spend the day at the park or zoo. But the reality is, I have to work to help support my family. I really hope that Gabe understands that even though I had to work a lot while he was growing up did not mean that she loved him any less. I hope that he realizes that his family loved him and always made sure he was safe and happy.
So, anyway, check out this article and take what you'd like from it. I honestly feel better after expresses my inner battles.

Here's the link...
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/17/o.truth.about.motherhood/index.html

Easter and other news

Yesterday was Gabriel's 2nd Easter. Poor Roo, unfortunatly he did not enjoy the day's activities to the fullest because he is sick, sick, sick. My poor little man has tonsillitis, possible strep throat. He went to the Doc's on Friday and was prescribed Amoxicillin 1 tsp 3x daily. At first, it was a battle, but now he takes his medicine quite well. Now, if only he would eat. I was home with him until 2:30 today and mostly we cuddled. Poor guy slept for 3 and a half hours for his morning nap.

Back to work today. 3-11 shift. So far...81 calls. Time left in shift: 3 hours.

I have an interview on Wednesday for the Therapy Aide position in the main hospital. The upside to the new position: REGULAR HOURS! 8-430 m-f!!! No more freaking evening shifts! The downside to the new position: New job, which could mean my PTO are lost...Took me 10 months to acquire 37 hours...I hope they are not lost to PTO neverland.

Other news...Moving Day is in 19 days!!!!!!!

Feeling old...

Recently, so many things have been going on. Probably the biggest piece has been Gabriel growing into a toddler from a baby. He is soooo active. I love that he is interested in so many new things. He can do so much now. The problem has been keeping up with this active little man. For the past two weeks or so, Gabe has been waking up at 6 AM, EVERY morning. Most of the time, he simply wants a bottle and some cuddle time before wanting to play, which is a nice ease into the morning. But, since my work has been scheduling my day/evening hours rotating every day. Getting off work at 11 at night, having to wake up by 6 with Gabe and be at work at 10 the next morning is really wearing me out. I KNOW millions of fulltime working mothers do this everyday, and somehow function. The questions I would like to know is....HOW? My body is just wearing out. Now, we are also moving in 3 weeks and our apt is in complete chaos, so this could be aiding in my exhaustion. I really think the job is the culprit. I need regular hours...why is it so much to ask? I can not work 3 evening shifts and 2 days shift a week, or vice versa. 2 weeks of evening and 2 weeks of days is FINE. Why does work do this to me? I'm so unhappy...I need a change...

The of an ERa

My favorite show for as long as I can remember has been ER. I used to beg my parents to let me stay up late to watch it. I would rush home on Thursday evenings so I wouldn't miss an episode. I met my best friend in college and had weekly ER/CSI date nights on Thursdays. This show has really been a part of my life for the past 15 years. I am really going to miss it. I will always have the reruns. So long ER. I will miss you!

Prayers

So, a lot of things have been happening to people around me as well as myself.

Grandma: My grandmother is a really genuinely sweet person. She always sees the best in people even when they hurt her or betray her. She was diagnosed with early alzheimer's about a year ago. I really can't believe how quickly this disease progresses, even with medication being administered to slow the progression. My poor grandmother's short term memory is really decreasing rapidly. She can't remember what happened 5 minutes ago. Thank goodness she can still remember people around her. I am so scared to face the time when she doesn't recognize anyone in the family.
My favorite memory with my grandma has to be when she used to babysit me when I was ages 7-9. I loved staying at her house. I always had my aunt (who was more like a sister growing up) to play with and we always dressed up in my grandmas nightgowns. I would always sit and watch her put on her makeup. Which always, always, always included pink lipstick. I miss those days when my family was a unit and we made sense. Now we have broken apart and divided. I prayer that God can help slow the alzheimer's and bring my family together somehow.

Friends: A girl I new in high school is going through a divorce. She has a little boy a few months younger than Gabe. She is also trying to finish her BSN so she can be a nurse. She seems to have the weight of the world on her shoulders and she's trying to have a better life for her son and herself. I pray that God can give her the strength she needs to make it through this and the courage she needs to try.

Job: So, yesterday my manager announced that the hospital is asking that we make cuts of considerable amounts out of our 2009 and 2010 budget. This is going to be hard since we generate a huge profit since we provide a free service to the community. We run a lot of grants and funds from member hospitals to use our services. But we DO NOT have volunteers, we ARE NOT ran the government. Many people do not know this. I pray that God will show us the path so that we can continue to stay open and provide services to the people in the community that need us.

My favorite things

I stole this list from a fellow blogger. Thanks Amanda. I loved your list, and was so excited to make one of my own.

Baby Wipes--Since I became a mom a little over 16 months ago, one of my favorite items has become baby wipes. I have a pack in my car, in the diaper bag, on hand in just about every room in the house. And, at work. I love how they can be used for everything. Wiping baby hands, noses and faces; cleaning up a spilled bottle; cleaning dust of the dashboard of the car; cleaning dust etc. off the desk at work. Love them.

Chapstick--This has been a SERIOUS addiction of mine for as long as I can remember. I am a lip licker. A series lip licker. When I was a little girl, I licked my lips until they became chapped so badly they would bleed. I have to have chapstick with me at all times. If I am somewhere without it, I need to stop at a store to purchase one. I have several in my purse, one in my car, one in tim's car, one at work, one in the kitchen, one on my nightstand, and one in the diaper bag.

My good old-fashioned planner-- I am not one of those modern women that have the Blackberry to keep track of their commitments. I rely on the good old paper planner kept in a black faux leather binder. I am able to keep important papers with me, keep track of my hectic work schedule, and make lists. I carry this with me everywhere.

Chewing gum--I always have chewing gum. I think bad breath is disgusting, and thus I have to avoid it at all costs. Gum is a must.

Fans--Especially at night. Prior to moving in with Tim, I could only sleep in total silence and in complete darkness. When we moved in together, I found that Tim could only sleep with a fan on. So, I eventually got used to it. Now, I cannot sleep without the fan on. Right now, we have two fans in the bedroom, sometimes 3.


I probably have some more things I could list, but my brain is fried because I've had 81 phone calls in 4.5 hours. It takes a lot of energy to id pills for drug addicts that can't even remember their zip codes.

Oh Blog, how I've neglected thee!

I'm so sorry blog. I've missed posting in you these past few days. Work has not been very nice to me. Take pity on me. This is the blessed work schedule I've been subjected to this week.

Monday 3-11
Tuesday 3-11
Wednesday Education or 10-6
Thursday 9-5
Friday 3-11

So, tonight has been the same as other nights at the COPC. Same old drug addicts calling in saying they found a pill in the front yard, their daughter's dresser drawer, son's bookbag, new car they just bought, etc. Sometimes this job is hard...when I get 117 calls in one day, when drug addicts call and their babies or kids are in the background, and when people fake exposures just to get meds identified. I love my job when I'm educating, and helping frantic mothers when their toddler ate the diaper rash cream or the silica gel packets.

Anyway...I have the beautiful, wonderful, amazing weekend OFF! You can bet that I am super excited about this. So, don't look for any blogs this weekend. Catch me on the flip side!! :o)

*Deep breath in, deep breath out* OK, so I'm going to get personal on some things I've been feeling lately. I must start off by saying that I love my family with my entire heart. They are the reason I wake up every morning. So, the latest news a flutter in the Goetz household recently has been about a job that Tim is interviewing for. The position known as Director of Community College Relations presents enormous opportunity and networking possibilities for him plus a nice pay increase. He has the most amazing potential and this job would help him realize that. What could possibly be the downside of such an amazing opportunity? Well, travelling for 4 out of 7 days of the week could be it. Yes, Tim would have to travel out of state for several days each week, overnight. While I am so excited for him and this opportunity, I am scared of our family being apart so much. So, as we'll look forward to hearing about the position, we are making new plans. Plan 1: Quit fulltime emplyment and begin part time employment because I can't continue to work crazy 3-11 and 10-6 daily rotating shifts and be the single parent at home. Plan 2: Purchase some new latest model webcams for being there when you can't be there. Plan 3: Move into new townhome. So, one of the best parts of a marriage is knowing that someone is always there to be on your side and support you. So, I took the vows and I believe in my husband and I will 100% support his decision.

Ok, onto other painful feelings. As some may know, I've been trying to get pregnant for over 9 months now. No luck yet. It's really breaking my heart. To the point, I broke down at tears last night after the sight of the negative sign on the pregnancy test. So many people around me are being blessed with new life. Visible everyday. I am so grateful to God that I have my son Gabriel. He is my heart, my soul mate, my life wrapped up in a little boy. I truly wish I would have treasured each part of my pregnancy with Gabe. Soaked in every new moment I would see my stomach grow and move. My dream for Gabe is to grow up and always have someone there for him, even after Tim and I die. Someone who knows every scar and every story. As cliche as it sounds, I don't want Gabe to go through what I went through as a child. I want him to have a sibling. Since I can't face another negative sign in my life right now, I am giving up trying for another baby right now. If God feels I am ready he will bless us with a new life. If not, I will make sure that Gabe feels all the love that surrounds him. Because it is so painful for me right now, I don't want to discuss this anymore. So, here are my feelings on the subject, and now I'm moving on.

Mrs. G and other news

So, this past weekend was a wonderful. I was actually able to sit back and breath for a bit. On Saturday, we took Gabe to COSI. He had so much fun walking around and interacting with other children. He really enjoyed the frog exhibit and especially the fat bullfrogs. We went to the kidspace which is a romparoom type place that preschool age children and younger can play without the big kids taking over. Gabe had a ton of fun until a mean blonde older girl took his shopping cart away from him and made him fall flat on his face. Poor guy. Needless to say, we were done after that. Saturday night, Gabe spent the night at GG's and myself and Tim went out on the town. We had a nice dinner at Genji (Mama's favorite) and met Rob and Emily for drinks at Bar Louie's at Easton. 4 Martinis later, we called it a night and headed back to their place and watched some Twilight. Sunday, we went to pick up Gabe and went to the park. Poor guy tried going up the slide and hit the slide face first. I think he is still feeling out his legs. He can still be so wobbly. Saturday night my mom and I went to see the new movie "Knowing".

*Spoiler Alert* Don't read any further if you want to see this movie!!!

This movie basically focuses a list of supposidly random numbers that a child receives at school when they dig up a time capsule from 50 years ago. His dad, a professor of astrophysics, examines the numbers and finds that they are actually dates, # of people that die in the accident that take place on the dates and finally the latitude/longitude coordinates of where the accident takes place. After Nicholas Cage figures this out, he tried to go to the locations and prevent other accidents from occuring. Finally, he realizes the numbers stop and the last two characters of the page are EE. Which, basically means everyone else. Throughout the story to this point, his son and another child have been having visitors during the night etc come to them and whisper things about the future to them. Turns out, they are angels coming for children to take to heaven or a different planet or something along those lines. Meanwhile, the earth is exposed to deadly solar flares causing everyone to panic and eventually the planet is disinegrated into nothing. So...basically I think this film is one person's perspective/opinion on how the world will end. The movie sparked some thoughts about the subject in my own head. Basically, I came to the conclusion that if the world was going to end, I would want some kind of warning so I could be with my family when the inevitable would take place. I really don't think I would go insane about it. I would just spend my last minutes hugging my husband and son.

Other news...I have an interview tomorrow at a pre-school. I am looking for another position because Tim may be offered a position that requires him to travel extensively during the week. Since that will pretty much make me a single parent during the workweek, I decided to look for a position closer to home with more stable hours. I hope this works out!!! :)

New baby in the COPC

Welcome Cruz Abelita. Isn't he adorable and perfect. I am having serious baby fever.

Update on News on News...

So, turns out the associate press wanted to interview people that match a different criteria. And, after Tim talked with them, he found out that I match the criteria. The story goes...in 2004 I was walking back to my college apt and long behold a flier was on the door advertising free food at the local favorite chinese restaurant in Westerville. So, any college student would be game for free food! So, I immediatly went down to the place and found that it was indeed a credit card scam. Sign up for a credit card=free food. Being the naive young college student I was and starving for free food, I signed up. So, this led me into the downward spiral of living on the dreaded credit card for the next 5 years. Need food? Charge. Need gas? Charge. Need essential toiletries? Charge. Need a night out with friends? Charge. My $7.50/hr job at the time was not enough topay off the monthly balance. The credit card was happy with this, and proceeded to increase the limit, therefore I increased my balance. Now, after college, I realized my lesson and I am trying to learn from the mistake and in about 5 years will be entirely free from credit card debt.
The good news, apparently I'm not alone considering the associated press wants to research the prevelance of the credit card scams with college students across the nation. So...news on news to come in upcoming blogs.

Need a babysitter?

So, a co-worker of mine had some plans out with his wife tonight. Unfortunatly, the babysitter couldn't make it. Desperate for a replacement, he ask around the call center for help! Payment--$50 bucks for 3 hours watching 3 kiddos that are school age. I volunteered. So, Tim is gonna watch the baby while momma makes over 16 bucks an hour!!! Hey, I was gonna be up later anyway to go out to buy the twilight movie, may as well get paid...lol

Did you see Grey's or ER last night?

So, of course, my weekly ritual on Thursday evenings is to watch Grey's Anatomy and ER. Unfortunatly, 2 weeks from now my all time favorite show, ER, will be no more. I have religiously watched this show for as long as I can remember. Many fans have given up on the show because the cast of characters has been ever-changing. Well, if you were a fan in the past, the show has brought many of the original characters to give the show a proper goodbye. Dr. Ross, Carol, Dr. Carter, Dr. Greene, Dr. Benton, Abbi, among other favorites have returned for an episode or even 2-3 shows. I really think this is the best way to say goodbye to the loyal audience of over 15 years. I will never forget the original late night drama. I will miss you ER, and I look forward to your re-runs!!!

So, onto my second favorite Thursday evening drama. Grey's Anatomy!!! Some of you have heard the rumors of T.R. Night and Katherine Heigl leaving the shows. Well, kinda looks like Katherine may be moving on based on last night's show. Basically, the officials have stated that no one is leaving the show, yadayadayada. Well, they cannot confirm that anyone is leaving because it would give away the rest of the season...duh!!! So, my opinion for what it's worth...is that Derek does everything he can and is able to remove the tumor's from Izzi's brain, and the other Dr.'s remove the cancerous portions of the liver etc. Only to have the cancer return or something along those lines, and Izzi dies. George can't handle it, since he and Izzi have been best friends for the extent of the series so far, and splits. Of course, the show is probably going to make the scenario much more dramatic. We shall see.

Onto other news.....TWILIGHT IS RELEASE AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT!!! I am such a nerd, and will be going out to purchase the DVD tonight.

Happy Friday everyone :)

News on news

So, just got a call from Tim. Apparently, the Associate Press wants to interview him for a story relating to the consumer credit counseling that we belong to. As some may know, we relied on credit cards WAY TOO MUCH during college, when we didn't have a solid income. When we were done with college, the credit card balances were close to the limit and we couldn't make any breaks in paying down the balances. So, we considered our options and decided that consolidating our debt and debt management. So, turns out, this is a growing problem since our economy is in the toilet. Well, I don't mind sharing this personal news since it brings attention to the cause.

A Glimpse

My name is Amanda. My life consists of my son, Gabriel, my husband, Tim, and my extended family. I also work fulltime at the Central Ohio Poison Center.

First:
Gabriel is 16 months old. I found out I was pregnant with him the day before our wedding, which was St. Patrick's Day 2007. He arrived into my life, Novemebr 15 2007. Since that point, life has been a blur. Everyday he is growing and developing in some new way. Unfortunatly, I feel like I miss half of it since I am working full time. He is a fulltime walking toddler now. He is able to say several words, such as mam, dada, ball, get, all done, baba, kitty. He is the most precious part of my life.

Next:
Tim and I have been with each other for 10 wonderful years. We met in junior high, and began dating exclusively in 10th grade. After our first date so many years ago, things clicked and we've never been apart longer than 2 weeks. I never fully understood why my life brought me to Ohio, and then I met Tim. I was supposed to come to Reynoldsburg, supposed to fall in love with Tim, and supposed to have a beautiful son, Gabriel. Tim has been my best friend and my should to cry on and lean on for the past 10 years. He has stood by my side when everything else in life has left or fallen apart. As cliche as it sounds, I really don't think I could have made it through 19 to 21 without him.

Then:
I have a family like anyone else. Since I married Tim, I have really become closer to my in-laws. Everyday I trust my mother-in-law to take care of my son. She does so with the most love and compassion as I have ever seen from a grandmother figure. Everyday, she encourages his growth and development though interactive play, reading, and outdoor activities. I am so fortunate that he is able to have one on one contact instead of a daycare setting at his age.
My side of the family is going through many transitions at the moment. My grandmother is in early stages of alzheimer's, which is progessing rapidly. It is so hard to see her like this. I try to have a conversation with her and she can't remember what we talk about and repeats herself every 5 minutes. If the family goes over for a visit, she will forget she saw us the next day. I know she is frustrated and doesn't understand why this is happening to her. I haven't spoken to my Aunt in over 6 months. Her lifestyle choices and bad decisions have caused our relationship to pretty much stop. She has remained unemployed for many years, and proceeds to have children that she is unable to financially care for. The latest news is that she is expecting twins, which will make 5 children total. I hope she realizes that even though each child is a blessing from God, you should only have as many kids as you can afford to feed and care for.
My mother is taking all the steps to improve her life. I wish her all the best. I know she will make it, if she keeps her eye on the prize.

Finally:
Me. I consider myself a fulltime working mom and wife. By day I am a Poison Information Provider/Education Assistant. I work part time in each position. Some days I enjpoy the call center. When I help a scared mom with a toddler that ingested something find out that their child is going to be ok, I really feel like I'm contributing something. Mostly, I hate working the call center. On average I get about 100 call during an 8 hours shift, an avg of 13 calls an hour. About 90% of my calls are from drug dealers or addicts, and about half of those always have kids in the background. I find it hard to go to work everyday I'm on the phones because I am helping drug addicts with their addiction. I enjoy working education because most of the time I actually contribute something worth while.

Right now, I am trying to expand our family once again. My biological block is ticking, as the saying goes. I really want to give Gabe a sibling so that he never has to feel what I felt growing up. I never want him to feel alone or awkward, or stressed. Being an only child forced me to wrap my childhood around my parent's happiness. I was never a bad kid. Never really broke the rules. I always did what I was told. I had to make up for the children my mom and stepdad couldn't have. I never, ever want Gabe to feel that kind of immense pressure and unhappiness. It was a horrible habit that I only recently broke after Gabe was born.
Anyway. Tim and I have been working very hard...lol...to conceive another child. I have finally chosen to hand it over to God and let him decide when and if we are to be blessed with another blessing.

A few of my loves:
-bargain shopping via thrift store, second hand shops, discount retailers, and yard sales.
-Being outdoors in the warm sunshine
-The Beach, which is where I'm convinced I should be living instead of landlocked Ohio
-Animals, I loved animals much more before Gabe was born. Even though I respect and appreciate them, I really don't have the patience for them anymore.
-Movies. I love renting, watching, going out to see them. Rarely have I been able to go out to a movie lately, but that is why I have found a website online in which I can view movies in theaters for free...shhh!
-Snuggles with Gabe...unfortunatly they are few and far between nowadays...a running active toddler doesn't like to slow down and snuggle.

So, for my first REAL blog, I wanted to give people a glimse into my life to see who I am. More to come...